Upleveling
Upleveling sounds like the dream.
You’ve expanded. You’re surrendered. You’re detached from the outcome. You’re manifesting with ease. Opportunities arrive that aren’t even on your list. You and the universe are in a fluid, collaborative conversation.
It sounds magical… until you’re in it. Then it feels like someone hit delete on your internal operating system. Days go by and nothing feels that clear. Your usual strategies don’t work anymore and you feel exposed, wobbly, unsure: Should I go back? Can I go back? Am I doing something wrong? I don’t like this.
Inside, your nervous system is carrying more than it ever has. You’re stretched and you’re holding it all in a void. Upleveling isn’t just about knowing who you are and what you want, it’s about building the capacity to actually hold it. That’s why it feels awful, even when your mind is so clear.
Signs You’re Upleveling (not regressing)
Your Old Patterns Flare Louder. The urge to control, people-please, overgive, prove, or shrink resurfaces. It’s not regression. These moments are opportunities to calibrate a new baseline. Can you hold your new boundaries when your system wants to collapse? Can you choose the you that matches your next level?
Your Baseline Feels Unstable. Your identity is stretching and every protector part in your body is doing what it does best—avoiding change and slowing the process down. That’s why authentic desire doesn’t always feel good at first. Resistance shows up when desire gets real. You’re not doing anything wrong. Contracting is part of the expansion. Rivers of tears, bouts of rage, waves of doubt, and a shaky nervous system are far more normal than most people admit.
The Glass Ceiling
An energetic glass ceiling is the invisible edge of how much visibility, success, intimacy, or abundance your system believes is safe to have and hold. It’s your inner “this is enough” limit.
You might consciously crave expansion, but some deeper part of you still whispers: If I’m seen more, I’ll be judged. If I make more, I’ll lose myself. If I shine too brightly, I’ll be alone.
Breaking your next glass ceiling isn’t about hustling harder. It’s about expanding your nervous system’s threshold—what you believe is safe, possible, and deserved.
Pause here for a moment. Close your eyes and ask yourself: What part of my energy am I ready to share more freely— and what part of me is still afraid of that?
The Magic Dark
The magic dark is the incubation phase — the moment after the old identity dissolves, before the new reality arrives. It feels like nothing is happening, but everything is rearranging around you. Magic darks typically last a few months, the time when it’s most tempting to panic, force clarity, change plans, or turn back.
The actual instruction is to stay with yourself in the dark long enough to develop new eyes. To collect new ideas. To get still enough to let clarity reveal itself. To connect with people who stretch your sense of what’s possible. To allow yourself to be seen in new ways. To stop doing what drains you. To let go of old stories about yourself.
The Reality of Growth
Along my entrepreneurial journey, each uplevel has been marked by a financial jump, but more importantly, by a greater sense of creativity, openness, leadership, and resilience.
Uplevel One: Leaving Corporate
I left a six-figure career and dove into my own business full-time, without much of a safety net—other than knowing I could always go back to work if I needed to. In my first year, I made $40K in revenue. It wasn’t enough to sustain me, but it was my first proof that self-trust translates into reality — and it gave me the motivation to keep building, and learn the ins and outs of the vintage industry. Within a couple of years, after cashing in my 401k, I was fully supporting myself.
Uplevel Two: Building S&S
Five years in, I hit a plateau working alone. A bigger vision wanted to emerge, but I didn’t have the resources or skills to build it on my own. I called in a business partner, and together we expanded—opening stores, broadening our assortment, creating new full-time roles, investing in digital advertising, and building backend operations.
But every time my trust and capacity grew, my headaches did too. I was stretched by expensive problems—refunding missing customer orders, accidentally cutting a hole in a Chanel scarf, replacing vandalized store windows, dealing with a stolen Chanel bag during store hours, and managing cash flow tied up in unsold inventory.
These challenges could have derailed me — but my desire to build something meaningful kept me moving. I knew they weren’t worth dwelling on; they were simply part of growing and doing business.
Uplevel Three & Four: Letting It All Go and Rebuilding
I broke the next ceiling when I let the entire business go. After bankruptcy, I earned more than ever coaching part-time while running my vintage shop solo. Rebuilding gave me the chance to do things differently and be seen in new ways.
But then…growth plateaued. By letting the shop go and stepping fully into coaching, this next uplevel is asking me to trust my energy even more — to lead through embodiment and humility. I’m in the magic dark now, learning how to hold a new level of myself and expand into what’s possible in new ways.
When You Find Yourself Here
Next time you’re questioning your clarity:
Stop doing anything that no longer feels aligned
Give yourself permission to sit in the quiet void
Let old patterns flare without attaching meaning
Name that the magic dark has a lifespan
Focus only on what you currently have capacity for
Let discomfort be evidence of expansion
Cry, rage, journal, shake — move the energy however you can
Trust that the new identity forming inside you needs time and new experiences
You’re not losing yourself. You’re remembering who you were before you learned to limit yourself. An uplevel happens when you trust yourself enough to surrender to the stretch — of your capacity, your energy, and your identity.
