Every year the hope is that we inch closer to our authentic desires. I don’t believe the essence of them changes over the course of our lives. With the beauty of each chapter that unfolds, we gain clarity around the why we want what we want and make strides toward feeling worthy of them. So it’s no surprise, we have to balance living fully with some stillness so that we can fully digest each experience. At the start of a new year we tend to dust off the desires we’ve always had.
I am questioning why I want to sit in my office on a rainy Monday night to write this? My brain and body are trying to get me to go to bed in favor of keeping my heart safe, instead of allowing me to trust what may feel good to capture with my freshly painted pink fingernails on my keyboard. As I look at the dim candle burning by my screen and hear the gentle music playing, I notice the woven blanket wrapped around my legs and the steam rolling off the chamomile tea in my hand. I relax a bit and a little voice reminds me that I’m here because I’m passionate about encouraging others to be their authentic selves and enjoy the process of becoming. I don’t want to feels so alone on this journey and I know there are so many others out there seeking understanding too. My intention is be in community, that’s why I’m here.
I’m sinking into big questions this month and letting them simmer, releasing my grip on needing any immediate answers. Maybe that’s why the month always feels like it’s such a slow start, who could possibly already know everything they want to accomplish this year? If we’re being honest, the reality is that we need space and time to ask ourselves questions and then to receive the answers. Dropping the need to know what “I should” be doing, feels like there is room to dream.
I’m dedicating January to polishing up my north stars which are a set of words I aspire my life to feel like. I let the words guide me towards the things I want to do, have and experience that will expand those feelings. I also use the words as filters for decision making when opportunities pop-up that I’m not sure about. My words are always evolving in meaning to me as I grow and can hold larger states of being for longer periods of time. I so thankful for my nervous system and the friendship we’ve started cultivating.
My words for my life along with some intentions I have for them this year are as follows. Hopefully by the simple act of declaring our desires, we create magnetism!
Joy- As I trust that the things that are meant for me will always be there (hello vintage and coaching!), it opens more space in my life for me to be fully present to other aspects of my life, allowing each experience exactly as it is. Because after all, joy is on the other side of the expected. I hope this brings more inspiration, creativity and flow into my life. I intend to open myself back up to dating, explore some new vintage markets around the country and take a solo road trip or two to explore and reflect.
Open Heartedness- The words “sharing is caring” keep popping into my mind. I spent a lot of time in 2022 getting intimate with my heart and with the support of a somatic therapist, learned how to feel worthy of my full truth and range of emotions. It’s going to take time for me to learn how to communicate that truth but I’m dedicated to vulnerability this year. My hope is that it brings more community and connection into my life. For those of you also on the journey of becoming, let’s have some fun together while we’re doing it!
Grace- My greatest desire is to be fully embodied in each moment and understand it clearly for what it is. To not have survival emotions drive me into old patterns. Our nervous systems are brilliant at keeping us safe, but also often times stuck. The more I befriend it and understanding it’s wisdom, the more I feel empowered to choose love over fear in every choice. Ultimately, I’m learning that love is simply presence. By staying with my own heart, I hope to be able to lend it to others.
Abundant- Comfort is another that comes to mind for this one. The definition of comfort is a state of physical ease and freedom from pain and constraint. I’ve lived with an autoimmune disease, Hashimoto’s, for over a decade and after some scary health issues last year, I started working with a Naturopath to find the root cause. I recently started an antibiotic healing protocol for Lyme Disease and am filled with hope for restoring my natural energy this year. I’d like to be able to live without the fear of how I’m going to feel. I suppose a third word for this is peace.
My hope for us all is that we expand in the ways we want to be!
I’m a fan girl of Danielle LaPorte (I’ve even seen her on tour in SF) and loved her new book, How To Be Loving. It brought awareness around what it actually means to view life from a heart centered space.
Thanks to the recommendations for clean nail polish from you on IG I tried this Olive & June polish and really loved it! It seems to last long without chipping. I think their quick dry top coat helped too.